my last post as a 35 year old

well, shit. I'm officially on the far side of my thirties.

fun morning of bjj, if a little short. Felt as though I was floundering during mount escape drilling, but I guess it wasn't too bad. Pretty sure my instructor would've been more than open with me about suckage.

My hand is still holding up well. A little achey, still a bit weak, but much much better. I still can't spend hours playing video games, but hey, I probably shouldn't be doing that anyway.

Took off work tomorrow. It's my day, dammit. Spending it my way. Which means I'll sleep until the cats insist on being fed (i.e.-- 730, same as always), have coffee, and then do some bas rutten cardio massacre. Looking at house(s), then I'm going to go have fish tacos at the only place in town smart enough to serve them. And I'll do this by myself since everyone I know has an irrational fear of fish tacos. idiots. No idea on my afternoon yet, but I'm going to judo class that evening. I know it's ridiculous to go to one class, but I like judo. I wish I could attend the class more often.

wish a lot of things. it's a rocky passage right now. I'm trying to not obsess over what I haven't done, or what I could've done differently, better, faster. Doing a lot of cost/benefit analysis with relationships. Some people seem to confuse tenure with "guest pass to act like a jerk". Unfortunate.

Sometimes you just put your money on the wrong horse.

bah. anyways, still trying to find my pace with training and improvement. It's tough. Small classes, limited instruction. That should probably be my cue to more aggressively pursue our curriculum and let it guide things on occasion.

I flatly refuse to feel older. or less capable. or hopeless. I'm just as strong, stubborn, and determined as I've ever been. Only now I'm a little wiser. Sometimes.

Or as Jay Z put it, "Thirty's the new Twenty"