While I am still stuck on what seems to be a perpetual sentence to evening shift at work, at least the morning BJJ schedule was expanded to 3 mornings a week. This has been a godsend, not just to my practice and progress, but my whole well being.
no jiu jitsu, no life. This Wednesday, someone asked why sharks are so often chosen as gym mascots (our own being a hammerhead shark). I suggested "because they never stop moving, if they stop moving, they die." I've always had a soft spot in my heart for sharks (I still get teary eyed at the end of Jaws, and as a child, broke into an absolute fit of sobbing the first time I saw the shark get killed), as if I empathize with the notion. I'm hyper by nature. Short fused at times. I get bored way too easy. I stop moving, I start dying.
I feel the exact same way about jiu jitsu. If I can't train, it breaks my heart. Being able to do so now, three times a week, has been a real saving grace in a time chock full of stressful bullshit.
It hasn't been all smiles and happy rainbows, I'm having real serious frustration in being overpowered again and again. Having to ask "can you give me a little less resistance so I can actually try the move?" over and over. I absolutely detest that I'm weaker than the guys. I accept it more than I used to, but I still hate the humiliation of having to admit the weakness.
But that same tooling has to be making me better. And there's probably been more progress than I think. I just can't see it myself. I try not to let these frustrating phases overwhelm my profound joy and desire to keep learning, keep trying.
I got a new iPhone last week, and immediately started using an app to track my exercise and eating. I don't need a drill sergeant, I need to see figures. Connect input with results, good and bad. This week, I committed to toeing the caloric restrictions it suggested. I also added a goal of staying below 150 g of carbohydrates each day. Achieved that in the vast majority of the days, easily stayed below the caloric goals, didn't starve at all, and lost at least 3.5 pounds.
It wasn't that hard at all. I can do this. I feel better already. I'm upping my protein intake, and I think that's helping me not be sore as much. Which means I can get back to training more. Burning more goop. Unearthing more muscle. Becoming a leaner shark, that I might better keep up with the rest.
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Sunday, April 11, 2010
getting back in the saddle
This week I have what is most likely my final chiro visit re: my wrist issue. It isn't 100%, but it's far better than what it was. I think if I keep icing it daily, doing the stretching, and just being careful in general, I'll be fine.
More importantly, morning bjj classes have expanded-- I can go three mornings a week now, which is probably the best news I've had in weeks. I miss the evening class crew, but with no job, I can afford no jiu jitsu, so there ya go.
Sadly, I've found that my mat stamina is shot all to hell. All the airdyning, elliptical training, biking, etc. has amounted to approximately jack squat when it comes to not being a weak kitten on the mats. At least my mind stayed sharp -- moves, counters, strategies played in my head while I rolled briefly last Wednesday, neurons dutifully shot off ideas to my muscles.
And the muscles said "yeah, go f()*& yourself. We're tired"
Fine, for now, I'm only good for maybe 10 minutes. Hopefully by the end of this week, it'll be 12. Next week, 15. Onward. It's been torturous, not training bjj. I've missed it so much that I'm elated to even come dragging home from a class where I've summarily had my ass kicked the whole time.
I've lost most of my weekend to watching the PanAms. I'm pouring through old GracieMags. I'm loading my ipod with more instructionals than I can ever hope to watch. Yep, addiction is back in full bloom.
More importantly, morning bjj classes have expanded-- I can go three mornings a week now, which is probably the best news I've had in weeks. I miss the evening class crew, but with no job, I can afford no jiu jitsu, so there ya go.
Sadly, I've found that my mat stamina is shot all to hell. All the airdyning, elliptical training, biking, etc. has amounted to approximately jack squat when it comes to not being a weak kitten on the mats. At least my mind stayed sharp -- moves, counters, strategies played in my head while I rolled briefly last Wednesday, neurons dutifully shot off ideas to my muscles.
And the muscles said "yeah, go f()*& yourself. We're tired"
Fine, for now, I'm only good for maybe 10 minutes. Hopefully by the end of this week, it'll be 12. Next week, 15. Onward. It's been torturous, not training bjj. I've missed it so much that I'm elated to even come dragging home from a class where I've summarily had my ass kicked the whole time.
I've lost most of my weekend to watching the PanAms. I'm pouring through old GracieMags. I'm loading my ipod with more instructionals than I can ever hope to watch. Yep, addiction is back in full bloom.
Sunday, March 7, 2010
got the airdyne
Probably the only positive thing I can report at this point is I finally came up on an airdyne, and have set it up in my living room.
I am presently under the care of my chiropractor in trying to resolve this chronic wrist issue. I have another 3 visits this week, and this friday we decide whether this is working or not. If it is, great. If it is not, I'm probably looking at shots or surgery.
Under her advice I did not train last week. And I probably shouldn't this week either. I am, however, still hitting up nautilus. Had a decent overall effort last week.
Work schedule keeps changing (sometimes even mid-week), which has made it seriously difficult to manage my training time, diet, sleep, and anything else. I do not do well with all the gear-shifting. I really need for work to stabilize into some sort of predictable pattern so that I can plan accordingly.
my weight loss has stalled out for 2 weeks. I've made some poor choices, haven't worked out as much as I normally would like to, slept poorly, and failed to stay on any sort of schedule. The only thing I can do is try and do a better job of controlling the factors I can affect, and try to minimize the effects of what variables I can't control.
It's just really hard when there is little to no support for the efforts. Having a trainer question me every other day doesn't motivate me, it just amplifies how bad I already feel about being stalled out. Being injured means light/no workouts. Which just bums me out that much more. It's a bitch of a cycle.
but I know what I need to do. Just need to put it to work.
I am presently under the care of my chiropractor in trying to resolve this chronic wrist issue. I have another 3 visits this week, and this friday we decide whether this is working or not. If it is, great. If it is not, I'm probably looking at shots or surgery.
Under her advice I did not train last week. And I probably shouldn't this week either. I am, however, still hitting up nautilus. Had a decent overall effort last week.
Work schedule keeps changing (sometimes even mid-week), which has made it seriously difficult to manage my training time, diet, sleep, and anything else. I do not do well with all the gear-shifting. I really need for work to stabilize into some sort of predictable pattern so that I can plan accordingly.
my weight loss has stalled out for 2 weeks. I've made some poor choices, haven't worked out as much as I normally would like to, slept poorly, and failed to stay on any sort of schedule. The only thing I can do is try and do a better job of controlling the factors I can affect, and try to minimize the effects of what variables I can't control.
It's just really hard when there is little to no support for the efforts. Having a trainer question me every other day doesn't motivate me, it just amplifies how bad I already feel about being stalled out. Being injured means light/no workouts. Which just bums me out that much more. It's a bitch of a cycle.
but I know what I need to do. Just need to put it to work.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
the guilty check in/update
well, I don't know that "guilt" is the right word. One can only document so much on so many forums...
At any rate, it's roughly a month in from my last post, and weight loss continues. I'm down a total of roughly 15 now, which is on point for my goals so far -- steady 2# loss a week.
Things I've learned: quit eating full meals late. More protein. Don't let emotional matters influence your eating. More protein. Yes, vanilla is in fact a screw-uppable flavor. More protein (not vanilla). Less is more (except for protein). I don't need to redline everything I do in order to make progress. If anything, it's detrimental to my progress when my joints are tore up, I'm tired, sick, etc.
Other things: why why WHY do I keep getting sick? I don't go around licking doorknobs. I wash my hands. What the crap? I've been like, skipping from cold to cold all winter. And yes, mom, I got a flu shot. This is ultimately the most frustrating deterrent to my progress (besides snow, perhaps).
I'm a few weeks out from investing in an airdyne for my apartment. Will probably move a weider crossbow (think generic bowflex) in shortly thereafter. That is, if I don't move between now and then. I am stepping up my house search chiefly because I'm tired of sharing living space with a building full of chain smoking morons who routinely wake me up late at night AND early in the morning. I am firmly convinced that half my ailments are due to allergic/asthmatic reactions to the ever-present aroma of various smokes in my building. Air purifiers not so much helping.
So I need my own space. I need to not share walls or floors with others. And I'm really at a point where I need my monthly payments to earn me some equity instead of lining the pockets of my lazy landlords. Let more drug dealers move into my place. I'll free up another slot for them.
I can't really post of any progress in jiu jitsu, because I think I've only been maybe twice in the span of a month. I've been sick THAT often. I am noticing a marked re-interest in stand up. Hell, I even ordered new bag gloves (some killer-looking Rivals. I'm anxious to see if that cross strap makes any difference to wrist stability, review pending, naturally).
This year's main goal is dropping weight. Running a close second is getting to stripe #2. I've been at 1 stripe since Sept. 2008. Granted, I've been through a host of school changes in that time, but still. There's some consistency available now, so it's time to also put my training on rails and move forward.
At any rate, it's roughly a month in from my last post, and weight loss continues. I'm down a total of roughly 15 now, which is on point for my goals so far -- steady 2# loss a week.
Things I've learned: quit eating full meals late. More protein. Don't let emotional matters influence your eating. More protein. Yes, vanilla is in fact a screw-uppable flavor. More protein (not vanilla). Less is more (except for protein). I don't need to redline everything I do in order to make progress. If anything, it's detrimental to my progress when my joints are tore up, I'm tired, sick, etc.
Other things: why why WHY do I keep getting sick? I don't go around licking doorknobs. I wash my hands. What the crap? I've been like, skipping from cold to cold all winter. And yes, mom, I got a flu shot. This is ultimately the most frustrating deterrent to my progress (besides snow, perhaps).
I'm a few weeks out from investing in an airdyne for my apartment. Will probably move a weider crossbow (think generic bowflex) in shortly thereafter. That is, if I don't move between now and then. I am stepping up my house search chiefly because I'm tired of sharing living space with a building full of chain smoking morons who routinely wake me up late at night AND early in the morning. I am firmly convinced that half my ailments are due to allergic/asthmatic reactions to the ever-present aroma of various smokes in my building. Air purifiers not so much helping.
So I need my own space. I need to not share walls or floors with others. And I'm really at a point where I need my monthly payments to earn me some equity instead of lining the pockets of my lazy landlords. Let more drug dealers move into my place. I'll free up another slot for them.
I can't really post of any progress in jiu jitsu, because I think I've only been maybe twice in the span of a month. I've been sick THAT often. I am noticing a marked re-interest in stand up. Hell, I even ordered new bag gloves (some killer-looking Rivals. I'm anxious to see if that cross strap makes any difference to wrist stability, review pending, naturally).
This year's main goal is dropping weight. Running a close second is getting to stripe #2. I've been at 1 stripe since Sept. 2008. Granted, I've been through a host of school changes in that time, but still. There's some consistency available now, so it's time to also put my training on rails and move forward.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Recalibrate and try again
Wrist issue has been diagnosed as tendonitis. Advice? Well take a pile of advil for 2 weeks and see how it feels. If that doesn't work, we'll try cortisone shots. If not that, surgery.
Okay so I did that. And it pretty much feels the same. I can't flex my thumb more than 30-45 degrees. This makes for a host of painful annoyances on the mats.
Oh yeah, took like a month and a half off from bjj, judo, the whole bit. I'm doing my own diagnoses from now on. The first one being: bjj and judo didn't cause my tendonitis. So I'm back at it.
I'm very fortunate to have a friend I train with whose spent time as a personal trainer. He's helping me out, since I clearly have no idea what the hell I'm doing anymore. As of this writing, I'm on the eve of my 2nd Monday morning weigh in. Last week, I'd dropped 6 pounds. And that was with only one trip to nautilus and one night of bjj. That is, 6 pounds off just from diet.
Variables at play this week include daily morning cardio, whether or not I'll continue to have egg protein shakes before said cardio (or go on empty stomach henceforth), and one variable I KNOW I'll be changing: yeah, just because I had a 2-a-day training day that ended with an evening of martial arts training doesn't mean I get to pork out on a footlong from subway.
(I say pork out, but at least they were relatively harmless in terms of content. It was the portion size methinks that was off the standards I'm aiming for)
I'm nervous and anxious to see what the scales say tomorrow morning. I'm being way more public about it because I probably need the pressure of guilt to stay on point.
As for bjj, I was utterly frustrated by a number of items. Butterfly guard in general eludes me, both in offense and especially defense. As in escapes. I can't correctly judge which way to shift my weight when in butterfly guard. I identified quickly that my base being limited compared to most everyone means I'll have to find other methods (I say base in terms of the say the base of a pyramid - the available span I have to balance my posting points -- it's smaller than 90% of my opponents, so it's making it way easy for them to off-balance me).
People escaping my open guard by backing out. Laziness on my part, I am sure. That, and I'm accustomed to most people playing into my open guard with forward pressure instead. I need to work on keeping hooks in, keeping them near so as to tie them up/sweep.
Tying up too high on the arm for omoplatas. My legs are biting up way up into the armpit/shoulder, which is all fine and well for making the opponent topple, but when I go for that rotation to sit up and lock in the omoplata, my mobility is limited by having my hips pinned to their shoulder. I can't achieve the sit-up.
My grips are severely affected right now. Setting up chokes is about out. Difficulty with moves involving changing grips from sleeve to sleeve. Can't post much, nor push away using my right hand. Trying to maintain c-grips to secure elbows when applicable. Pistol grip is out. All tendonitis related. grrrrrr.
Judo proved more difficult. Not surprising, given the gripping issues. Need to work on my leg sweep more in O soto gari.
Still, all in all, it was nice to be back to the usual grind.
Okay so I did that. And it pretty much feels the same. I can't flex my thumb more than 30-45 degrees. This makes for a host of painful annoyances on the mats.
Oh yeah, took like a month and a half off from bjj, judo, the whole bit. I'm doing my own diagnoses from now on. The first one being: bjj and judo didn't cause my tendonitis. So I'm back at it.
I'm very fortunate to have a friend I train with whose spent time as a personal trainer. He's helping me out, since I clearly have no idea what the hell I'm doing anymore. As of this writing, I'm on the eve of my 2nd Monday morning weigh in. Last week, I'd dropped 6 pounds. And that was with only one trip to nautilus and one night of bjj. That is, 6 pounds off just from diet.
Variables at play this week include daily morning cardio, whether or not I'll continue to have egg protein shakes before said cardio (or go on empty stomach henceforth), and one variable I KNOW I'll be changing: yeah, just because I had a 2-a-day training day that ended with an evening of martial arts training doesn't mean I get to pork out on a footlong from subway.
(I say pork out, but at least they were relatively harmless in terms of content. It was the portion size methinks that was off the standards I'm aiming for)
I'm nervous and anxious to see what the scales say tomorrow morning. I'm being way more public about it because I probably need the pressure of guilt to stay on point.
As for bjj, I was utterly frustrated by a number of items. Butterfly guard in general eludes me, both in offense and especially defense. As in escapes. I can't correctly judge which way to shift my weight when in butterfly guard. I identified quickly that my base being limited compared to most everyone means I'll have to find other methods (I say base in terms of the say the base of a pyramid - the available span I have to balance my posting points -- it's smaller than 90% of my opponents, so it's making it way easy for them to off-balance me).
People escaping my open guard by backing out. Laziness on my part, I am sure. That, and I'm accustomed to most people playing into my open guard with forward pressure instead. I need to work on keeping hooks in, keeping them near so as to tie them up/sweep.
Tying up too high on the arm for omoplatas. My legs are biting up way up into the armpit/shoulder, which is all fine and well for making the opponent topple, but when I go for that rotation to sit up and lock in the omoplata, my mobility is limited by having my hips pinned to their shoulder. I can't achieve the sit-up.
My grips are severely affected right now. Setting up chokes is about out. Difficulty with moves involving changing grips from sleeve to sleeve. Can't post much, nor push away using my right hand. Trying to maintain c-grips to secure elbows when applicable. Pistol grip is out. All tendonitis related. grrrrrr.
Judo proved more difficult. Not surprising, given the gripping issues. Need to work on my leg sweep more in O soto gari.
Still, all in all, it was nice to be back to the usual grind.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
back to the drawing board
Well, scratch that last program.
I am not in a place where my body will let me go to the gym every morning to do HIIT cardio and left 2-3 times a week, AND train bjj and judo 3 times a week. Not yet.
Hit the wall last Thursday. My lead hand wrist has been really really sore and stiff for a couple of weeks now (no idea why), and I had my knee give out in judo. That (the knee) was my absolute red flag sign: I haven't had knee issues in a LONG time.
The knee seems fine now, the wrist not so much, but what I'm thinking/hoping is the case is that these weren't specific incidents where I will have chronic issues with these joints. I think I was just asking too much from my body at once.
NO coincidence that this philosophy happens to follow in the footsteps of a recent issue of GracieMag that espouses the overall lifestyle that tends to enter the life of anyone who trains in bjj and wants to do so for the rest of their life. Last week I also changed up my diet to restrict carbs (to varying success - man that's a hard habit to break), and last week I didn't get anywhere NEAR enough sleep. And work had me all bent out of shape.
That probably lead to a cumulative inflammatory overreaction in my system. Way more than could be handled by a few fish oil capsules.
So this week I'm making a point to sleep more. Reel back the lifting to days that I'm not training martial arts that evening. Doing intu-flow daily again to nourish the connective tissue and sort of recenter myself. Enough water.
Cautiously approaching today and tomorrow. Bjj private today, might do regular class as well tonight, judo tomorrow night. Not sure how/if my wrist will handle that.
We shall see.
I am not in a place where my body will let me go to the gym every morning to do HIIT cardio and left 2-3 times a week, AND train bjj and judo 3 times a week. Not yet.
Hit the wall last Thursday. My lead hand wrist has been really really sore and stiff for a couple of weeks now (no idea why), and I had my knee give out in judo. That (the knee) was my absolute red flag sign: I haven't had knee issues in a LONG time.
The knee seems fine now, the wrist not so much, but what I'm thinking/hoping is the case is that these weren't specific incidents where I will have chronic issues with these joints. I think I was just asking too much from my body at once.
NO coincidence that this philosophy happens to follow in the footsteps of a recent issue of GracieMag that espouses the overall lifestyle that tends to enter the life of anyone who trains in bjj and wants to do so for the rest of their life. Last week I also changed up my diet to restrict carbs (to varying success - man that's a hard habit to break), and last week I didn't get anywhere NEAR enough sleep. And work had me all bent out of shape.
That probably lead to a cumulative inflammatory overreaction in my system. Way more than could be handled by a few fish oil capsules.
So this week I'm making a point to sleep more. Reel back the lifting to days that I'm not training martial arts that evening. Doing intu-flow daily again to nourish the connective tissue and sort of recenter myself. Enough water.
Cautiously approaching today and tomorrow. Bjj private today, might do regular class as well tonight, judo tomorrow night. Not sure how/if my wrist will handle that.
We shall see.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Cheating on my husband
Oh how proud my journalism professors would be, using a lead like that.
I used to think of BJJ as a boyfriend that treated me like shit, but I kept chasing after anyways. Well, we've long since gone to couples therapy, and it's more like a marriage now. A good one, not one of those ones you see disintegrate on Jerry Springer.
Lately, though... I've been fooling around with my husband's best friend: judo. And I don't care what the neighbors may think.
Okay, enough metaphor. I'm having an absolute BLAST in judo class (which isn't to say I don't in BJJ), and I think the work of gripfighting and trying to read the momentum of what I'm doing or what my partner is doing is going to translate over well to my work in BJJ. And maybe it already is. I'm really hoping it improves my timing, especially with sweeps since I find myself in a defensive posture the vast majority of the time in bjj.
Maybe it's because I'm encouraged to use strength with my technique. Maybe it's just a natural inclination I have to throw people. Maybe it's just the experience of studying something almost entirely new to me. Whichever, I'm finding myself newly inspired. And that's always something I welcome.
In bjj, I'm toeing the line of going hypercritical on myself, a common derailment that has reared its head in my studies all along. I'm trying very very hard to not get frustrated, to instead try harder to make things work, make things stick (my biggest obstacle), and make things flow (a close 2nd place in the obstacle department). It is my intention to drill more with people, but life keeps getting in the way. And few and far between are the people who will lower themselves to just drilling (read: letting the old rusty broad flop about and try to get the moves down).
ADD is no friend to learning bjj. Last week I had a horrible evening because I couldn't focus. Too many moves, too much rushing about, not enough reps, and nowhere near the attention span I needed. The harder I tried to focus, the more easily distracted I became. Which only made me that much angrier and less capable of focusing. I told a friend later that I wish the drug companies could come up with something akin to an asthma inhaler for ADD. It doesn't derail me like this that often, but when it does, it is horribly infuriating.
dialing back my lifting a bit this week. I'm restricting my lifting days to those day in which I'm not training bjj or judo that night. Doubling up on those days is causing more damage than I can heal from. I'm skirting injury. Probably looking at lifting and cardio intervals 2 mornings a week, the rest will go to cardio intervals only. Rest on the weekends.
I'm frustrated on the nutrient timing angle of this though. I know I need to make more wholesale changes to my regular diet, but can't seem to find 2 sources that agree on the whats and hows of it. Carbs are okay or not? Restrict them after 7pm or allow if post-workout? I hate to waste time with a procedure that isn't going to work, but I also know it generally takes 8-10 weeks of consistency before I can tell if something is or is not working for me.
Maybe this week I will try and go back to protein shakes for dinner. Mostly protein. carbs only from recovery drink. It's hard though, I usually come home pretty hungry. Maybe some fruit/clean carbs in the afternoon before training.
We'll see how less lifting affects things. Judo is my last day of martial arts training for the week, typically. By Friday morning, I'm pretty fatigued. Sore knees, sore wrist, sometimes weak ankles -- I'm hoping those are just signs that I can eradicate by backing off a little on lifting, and getting back on track with my fish oil supplementation.
I guess we'll see by year's end.
I used to think of BJJ as a boyfriend that treated me like shit, but I kept chasing after anyways. Well, we've long since gone to couples therapy, and it's more like a marriage now. A good one, not one of those ones you see disintegrate on Jerry Springer.
Lately, though... I've been fooling around with my husband's best friend: judo. And I don't care what the neighbors may think.
Okay, enough metaphor. I'm having an absolute BLAST in judo class (which isn't to say I don't in BJJ), and I think the work of gripfighting and trying to read the momentum of what I'm doing or what my partner is doing is going to translate over well to my work in BJJ. And maybe it already is. I'm really hoping it improves my timing, especially with sweeps since I find myself in a defensive posture the vast majority of the time in bjj.
Maybe it's because I'm encouraged to use strength with my technique. Maybe it's just a natural inclination I have to throw people. Maybe it's just the experience of studying something almost entirely new to me. Whichever, I'm finding myself newly inspired. And that's always something I welcome.
In bjj, I'm toeing the line of going hypercritical on myself, a common derailment that has reared its head in my studies all along. I'm trying very very hard to not get frustrated, to instead try harder to make things work, make things stick (my biggest obstacle), and make things flow (a close 2nd place in the obstacle department). It is my intention to drill more with people, but life keeps getting in the way. And few and far between are the people who will lower themselves to just drilling (read: letting the old rusty broad flop about and try to get the moves down).
ADD is no friend to learning bjj. Last week I had a horrible evening because I couldn't focus. Too many moves, too much rushing about, not enough reps, and nowhere near the attention span I needed. The harder I tried to focus, the more easily distracted I became. Which only made me that much angrier and less capable of focusing. I told a friend later that I wish the drug companies could come up with something akin to an asthma inhaler for ADD. It doesn't derail me like this that often, but when it does, it is horribly infuriating.
dialing back my lifting a bit this week. I'm restricting my lifting days to those day in which I'm not training bjj or judo that night. Doubling up on those days is causing more damage than I can heal from. I'm skirting injury. Probably looking at lifting and cardio intervals 2 mornings a week, the rest will go to cardio intervals only. Rest on the weekends.
I'm frustrated on the nutrient timing angle of this though. I know I need to make more wholesale changes to my regular diet, but can't seem to find 2 sources that agree on the whats and hows of it. Carbs are okay or not? Restrict them after 7pm or allow if post-workout? I hate to waste time with a procedure that isn't going to work, but I also know it generally takes 8-10 weeks of consistency before I can tell if something is or is not working for me.
Maybe this week I will try and go back to protein shakes for dinner. Mostly protein. carbs only from recovery drink. It's hard though, I usually come home pretty hungry. Maybe some fruit/clean carbs in the afternoon before training.
We'll see how less lifting affects things. Judo is my last day of martial arts training for the week, typically. By Friday morning, I'm pretty fatigued. Sore knees, sore wrist, sometimes weak ankles -- I'm hoping those are just signs that I can eradicate by backing off a little on lifting, and getting back on track with my fish oil supplementation.
I guess we'll see by year's end.
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