still making lemonade

It's rare that I have time to blog lately. Nutshell version: lots of health problems in my family, and most of my spare time has been spent going to various hospitals and inpatient care centers. I am hopeful and mostly sure things will eventually be okay, but it's been rough. 

At least I have a decent habit going for getting lots of drilling done a few mornings a week. It's been really nice to be able to take my sweet time analyzing a move, repeating it a lot (but probably still not as much as I need to or should), and then marinating in it and figuring out what the next move may be (or may not be) creatively, rather than being spoon fed some variant. Letting me decide what I'd naturally do next. 

I'd like to think that would be a better way to learn and develop my game. I hope so, as it's all I have available to me presently. 

But let's focus on what I have, not what I lack. I've been working on a dvd series from Andre Galvao involving the flower sweep (which has never been a go-to sweep for me in its previous incarnations) and what he called the rolling kimura series. I'm liking both a lot. 

I still struggle with what I call the "loading phase" of the flower sweep, but it's coming around. This particular version doesn't rely on generating the momentum by making huge circles with your free leg, which always seemed both ineffective for me, as well as being a big honking telegraph as to what you intended to do. Of course, when you're only waving a short, stocky leg around, there's only so much momentum that is being generated, I suppose. 

I'm still playing around with just precisely how much of the opponent's weight I'm supposed to hoist onto myself, and at what angle. (Recent findings are "not this much" and "not this angle")

The rolling kimura is a bit of a revisit for me - I used to love this sort of thing early in my study. I'm trying to remain mindful of not doing it "the old way" and losing critical tiny details. I also am trying to remain open-minded with all of the options from the core position, even though I'm struggling with a few of them - namely the chokes. Damned T Rex arms... 

It's okay. It'll come around. I just have to keep working the angles. Fortunately for me, at least I have a few folks who are willing to work with me on that. It's a welcome change to the rather annoying trend of selfishness that I've been noticing when training in a larger class. I don't miss that part of regular class. 

That also feeds into the relentless whining for rank that I'm equally disenchanted with, especially when I manage to get tangled up in it. When I am drilling, learning, and working on jiu jitsu, I could give a shit about my rank. I'd do well to preserve that mindset, rather than lowering myself to the childish concerns of rank. I don't dream at night of stripes, I dream of progressions. 

However, that said... I think I'm henceforth distancing myself from overextending myself to those who don't return the favor. I'm getting more selfish as well, in this respect. People taking extensive advantage of my generosity has been enough of a distraction and disappointment. I can't convince people to act more honorably, but I can control my exposure to it.