Ha. So that lasted all of one week.

My victory was short lived. Before the end of the first week of my new, jiu-jitsu-friendly schedule, news came down from corporate that no, actually, we need to change your schedule. Again.

That I've just come to expect this sort of disappointment may have softened the blow, but ultimately makes me wonder just how jacked up my head is in that I've become so accepting of this inconsistency, of this constant "over the barrel"ing. I mean, really. Did I actually go to grad school for this sort of dickery?

Alas, at least I can still barely fit in crossfit. And at least I'm dropping weight. Both are good things. I make do with weekend open mats as I can, but with the summer months arriving, people are far more inclined to attend barbeques than open mat.

And I can dig it. I've been known to happily compensate open mat attendance fails with a kayak trip. I'm trying to work with what IS available to me instead of focusing so much on what ISN'T. Why continue to be morose and pensive thinking about what I'm not doing instead of just going after what I CAN do?

Releasing the frantic choke hold of doom on the biological clock of OMGMUSTTRAINBJJGETALLTHEBELTS has left the art way more enjoyable. I "lose" a lot of training time to white belts who want to study early curriculum moves, and I don't mind it as much. Sometimes I only get to rep out what I actually had in mind a few times. Meh. Whatevs.

Part of me feels lazy, another part still feels like a jilted girlfriend. But the fact of the matter is I can't train like the other folks can. I can't make classes. I largely have to direct my own study. In those obstacles, my progression will suffer. But we have to make the best of what's around sometimes...