Realized partway through the week that I have, since obtaining my purple belt, gotten lax on setting new goals. Or perhaps am just feeling lazy about it all. I'm not sure which.
I've settled into being happy to study the earlier curriculum, assist folks working towards their blue belts, or even just their first stripe on their white belt. And I don't think either is at a huge detriment - it's reviewing portions of the curriculum that I never had to test for, having shown up with my blue belt and some stripes before the curriculum ever came into the picture for me.
I'm seeing a lot of the curriculum with new eyes. Seeing things way differently than the first however many times I watched the moves done. Connecting the dots. Hearing what isn't being said. And that's pretty cool.
Meanwhile, other folks are already obsessing over putting stripes on their new purple belts. Man, I still don't see what all the rush is about. And that could easily be a function of my having accepted slow rank progression as just a matter of course for me. I'm still not able to attend regular classes, so I guess I don't fixate so much on advancement. I know it's going to take me longer. Which is also fine by me, since I prefer being thorough. I prefer knowing the bejeezus out of the moves long before I test on them.
I've heard it said that by the time you reach purple, you're done learning new moves. That you simply refine what you have already acquired. I hope that isn't true - I'm coming back around to things I never thought would be a part of my game, learning new positions that have drawn the current favor, and I'm still not satisfied with it. I still want more. I want to take my sweet time enmeshing myself with every dvd I ever bought, learning it inside and out, seeing if any of it works for me, and if not, fine, how do I defend against it.
Maybe I'd do better to focus on that instead. I felt, once promoted, a huge relief more than anything else. Sure, it was validating, and I feel very proud of what I achieved, but since then, my underlying thought has been "Good. Now I can go back to just studying it at my own pace."
But something about that is making me feel... lazy.